What I Learned From Attending South Indian Weddings

2015 was definitely the year of the weddings.  We went to 5 weddings across the United States. WOW.  I think for the month of October we had one weekend at home and the rest we were flying somewhere for somebody’s nuptials except for my birthday trip to New York (SO much fun!).  Me and Nelli didn’t get to do much international trips with the exception of India with all the stateside travel but I have some of the best memories from this year. One wedding was in New Orleans, another in Utah, another in the Carolina, BDAY in New York, oh and I took a girls trip to Mexico!

2 of the weddings that we went to were Nelli’s close family so I got to experience the famed Indian weddings.  Another wedding was a small, budget friendly wedding of a close friend in Maryland and the other one was a Muslim Indian wedding in Utah (HELLO MORMONS!).  I love the diversity of my friends and future family and I learned and experienced so many things about myself, Nelli, his family, and my friends.

  1.  People at Indian weddings are loud as hell and definitely not paying attention during the ceremony.  It’s different but everybody’s too busy catching up.
  2. Every Indian wedding is at a hotel.  no exceptions.
  3. Millennial Indian Americans still get arranged marriages and marry within their caste.
  4. I wore my first official saris during the Indian weddings.  The first time was fun even though it started coming off at the end because I kept tripping.  2nd wedding I made sure the length was appropriate when my sister in law wrapped it.  Folding is  your friend.
  5. Muslim weddings have no alcohol and it is a sobering experience when you’re trying to have fun at the reception.  Mango lassi wasted.
  6. You don’t have to spend a lot on a wedding.  Unless you’re in California.

Overall, I think I had a great time at all the weddings except for the 2nd one.  This one was a very close cousin of Nelli and naturally, his parents were there.  Should I stop there?  This was my 2nd experience with them and judging by the first, I didn’t have my hopes up.  Everything actually went swimmingly the first night.  I felt a little lonely because Nelli was the MC and I had to sit with Nelli’s Aunts and Uncle’s family and I didn’t know them very well.  It was a nice gesture that Nelli’s parents insisted I take pictures with them.  The next day was the actual ceremony where everybody put on their traditional attire and Nelli’s mom surprised me by putting her personal jewelry on me.  I guess that was a sign of friendship?  After the extremely long ceremony, it was time for lunch and I proceeded to sit down with my food as Nelli was off doing his MC duties.  I noticed as people sat down that nobody was sitting next to me…Nelli’s immediate family were taking tables directly around me and I felt a deep embarrassment.  Looking back, I should have had the guts to grab my plate and sit next to them but I was so shy and overwhelmed.  I waited a few minutes more to see if anybody would offer a seat to me but to no avail.  I rushed out the room and into the bathroom and shed a few tears, I had never felt alone as I had in that moment and I had no idea where Nelli was.  I called him , took off his mom’s jewelry and we decided to head back to the hotel.  Nelli called his brother and asked why nobody thought to sit with me or tell me to come to a different table but to this day I don’t remember his response.  Like any other Indian family, this event just got swept under the rug and nobody approached me to say sorry or offer their side of the story.  The wedding itself was beautiful and I cherish each experience good and bad.


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