Being Feminists in a Patriarchal Culture

Hi everyone, we are coming up on 6 months of married life and so far so good!  Sometimes, I feel like we have have been married for longer and when people ask how married life has been I think to myself…the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Today I wanted to talk about a special topic that I have been made acutely aware of since joining Nelli’s family and the interracial community…I’ve always known I was different because of my race(s) and religion but since being married; the values and practices that me and Nelli followed since the beginning of our relationship became more apparent.

I had originally written the title as “Being A Feminist in a Patriarchal Culture” but the more I wrote about my experiences, the more I realized that both me and Nelli are feminists.  Nelli is the type of person that says “Hey, I’m going to this women’s march, wanna come with me?” or “Let’s go to this Black Lives Matter Vigil.” Our ideals start at home but we make every effort to not let them stop there.  I am truly lucky to be married to such a progressive loving husband 🙂

Read More »

Advertisements

Features + Wedding Video

Happy Sunday everyone!

I just wanted to quickly share our wedding video that we received a couple weeks ago…I absolutely love it!  Looking back, it was definitely funny when me and Nelli were working with Fusion Moments on the video.  We really struggled to choose a song that represented US – we both wanted something unique but he wanted something Indian inspired and I wanted something representing my African American culture.  Not only did we deal with that difference of opinion but we could only choose from a limited song bank our videographers provided.  In the end, after much tribulation (not really…hehe) we decided on two songs (thanks to our gracious vendor).  Me and my Dad actually danced to the first song and for those who might not know, Nelli is a big Deepika Padukone fanboy…hence the second song!  I was kind of sad that none of our Sangeet footage made it in but we have an entirely separate video of that night.  Hope you guys enjoy…let me know what you think 🙂

I am also including two website links that featured our wedding and they have some fabulous photos thanks to Nathalie Cheng.  One is Seventh Heaven Vintage which is a vendor that we used for our specialty furniture and the other is 100 layer cake.  100 layer cake is a top 5 wedding website so it was such an honor for them to share the beautiful work completed by my  wedding planner (Jessica) and wonderful vendors.  Please enjoy and have a great rest of your weekend!

http://blog.seventhheavenvintage.com/?p=6569

http://www.100layercake.com/real-weddings/romantic-san-francisco-multi-cultural-garden-wedding/

 

 

Black + Indian Ceremony Script

Hi everyone, a couple of people have asked me how I blended both cultures into one ceremony. A lot of fusion weddings have two different ceremonies on different days or the same day but as I touched on with previous posts, we decided to have one ceremony with our immediate family as the officiants.  Since we didn’t have the expertise of religious officiants to give us the scripts we made our own ceremony which made it even extra special.  We researched a lot of things on the internet and took SOME (keyword) advice from our close friends/family.  Thank you Google for allowing us to get married haha! And now to pay it forward for other engaged couples, we are happily giving you our ceremony online for you to hopefully enjoy along with some explanations, thought processes, challenges etc.

Read More »

100 Days till our Wedding! – Pt. 1

Wow….I can’t believe we are exactly 100 days till our wedding…we are entering the double digit countdown ahhh!!  It seems like it was just last April when we got engaged and we thought we had all the time in the world.  This past year or so, wedding planning has taught me so much about myself, Nelli, and how we work together as a team.  It’s been challenging and stressful to plan a wedding (ESPECIALLY a multicultural one) and I didn’t get it before but now I do.  Some of the key decisions that we made for our wedding are:

  1. What’s the definition of FUSION – We wanted ONE ceremony.  This was really important to me and Nelli.  A lot of fusion weddings have 2 ceremonies to celebrate each culture.  I really like that idea and think it’s a good way to incorporate everything but for me personally, it didn’t speak to me.   It was important to me to show our close friends and family that we are committed to blending our cultures in our marriage and we were going to showcase that through one ceremony.  We got a lot of doubters and I myself am working tirelessly to ensure that the ceremony script is seamless but I have a great feeling that it will turn out beautifully.  I think it’s also nice to have one ceremony, because we will be hand pick a few traditions that mean the most to us and have a significant message that we believe in.  I also love the fact that me and Nelli are working together to develop a script from scratch so it will truly be unique and represent who we are and what our union represents.  Lastly, the officiants will be family members and not priests or pastors and I think this is a great idea to make the overall ceremony more personal.

Read More »

My First Diwali

Our first Diwali 2013! We ended up eating at Nelli’s favorite Indian restaurant Dosa in San Francisco. I loved getting dressed up…Nelli first mentioned the idea of getting dresses up in traditional Indian clothing and then he kept on going back and forth. I even had to call dosa and ask for the dress code […]